Then my father called to inform me that my grandmother had just under went surgery to amputate her right leg, and that things went okay but she was not doing well. This threw me into a whirl of emotions, and ultimately my first response was to hit the food. What do I do?!?!? I go straight for the microwave dinners. It's like I have trained my brain to do this. Now that I sit here typing this I am kicking myself for this behavior, yet at the same time I did not even think twice about it at the time. It was not apparent to me until after the fact. This frustrates me. There is no need for it, and aside from being mad at myself for making these choices, I feel guilty. To top it all off, for the first time I feel fat. Never in my life have I aver had a real problem with who I was/am, and all of a sudden I have this overwhelming sense of disgust. I know that I am going to fall from time to time, but I hate the fact that I am having a hard time 'forgiving' myself for making the mistake.
The old saying goes like this.....When you fall off get back on and try try again
Monday I go for my 6 week check up, and I am excited to see where I stand with my weight lose. I have been weighing in at home, but I trust the scale in the office more than my own, so, we shall see. I just hope that my stupid mistake/decision did not unravel what I have already done.