~It's a Beautiful Thing~ (bouncerbutch) wrote in xxthe_journeyxx,
~It's a Beautiful Thing~

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The Urge!

The urge to eat has been very strong the last couple of days. Work has been very stressful the last couple of days and honestly it would be so damn easy to just grab cookies and eat a whole bunch of them. I have not given into that temptation but it is so strong. I guess that this was just normal behavior in the past. Feel like crap, eat. Feel depressed, eat. Feel run down, eat. Feel stressed, eat! It is amazing that for every emotion I have felt I almost always have the urge to eat and it is not the good stuff that I want. It is always the bad stuff, full of fat, high in calories and simply not good for me at all. The urge is not like an "OMG! I need to eat that now!" sort urge , but a nagging urge. One that is just a constant presence. It's like having the angel and devil sit on your shoulder one saying "eat it, eat it, you know you want it, you know it would taste so much better than that rabbit food...." and than there is the a little angel sitting on the other shoulder saying "nooooo don't eat it, it's not good for you, it will only make you feel worse, grab a healthy snack!" Oh I hate it especially when the two of them bicker back and forth and I get stuck in the middle! Ha No I am not going mad but it is like a battle of the pros and cons with these two, and the little angle always wins leaving the little devil pouting. No, no I am not going mad and I don't actually hear the voices of these two in my head, but it is kinda like a battle and it stinks. Actually passing up the urge to attack the cookies has been a huge task but I have managed to do just that. I weighed myself yesterday morning and that is kinda what is keeping me from going for the bad stuff...that and I know that I may not be able to stay with in my calorie count on Sunday since La Rae and I are going to Red Lobster for his birthday. I know that I will be going a little over my allowed calories. I will still try to remain within range though but since it is a special dinner I am not going to be so strict on myself.
So that is it............
Tags: health
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