~It's a Beautiful Thing~ (bouncerbutch) wrote in xxthe_journeyxx,
~It's a Beautiful Thing~

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2 weeks in review

I do believe that the last time that I posted was at the end of week 1 in this new journey. A whole lot has happened since then and I am certain that I did not post a review for week 2. So here it is.

The numbers for both weeks combined.

Total weight loss=9 lbs
Total BMI loss=1.3
Combined Calorie allowance=29743
Actual calorie intake for 2 weeks=21811
This is 73% of my actual allowed calories for the 2 weeks.
Current BMI=43.7
19.7 BMI still to lose.
126.5 lbs still to lose to reach goal.
New calorie allowance=2072
Down 118 calories from when I started.

I am very happy with my current weight loss. It has made me feel good about what I am doing and I love that I just feel good about me. It is a far greater feeling now that I know this was all because of my efforts.
I have been keeping track to the calorie and I now understand what is important in my food intake. The foods that I was eating before may not have consisted of a whole lot of food but just the wrong food all together. I have not purchased lunch from any fast food restaurant in 3 weeks now and it's nice to know that I have been able to stay away from them.
A few things that I have noticed over the passed 2 weeks.
I was under a great amount of stress and pressure, more so last week than the week prior and all though I am sure it is not good for me to not eat when I feel stressed I know that what I did eat was still good for my body. Once again I now what it is like to be an emotional eater and this is not something that I want to do. I have done that ALL my life. Every time something negative happened I would turn to food for the answer and well I have realized that because it does not speak back in return it really does not have the answer at all. Along with the extra added stresses that I have felt, I was also clearly aware of my childhood and teen years. Going down memory lane was not my intent, but with the issues that I was dealing with my mind was just volunteered to go there. I honestly did not have that much of a choice in the matter. It was good though because I think that I have figured out where most of my emotions have come from. Growing up I was never popular, never pretty enough, never smart enough, never on the inside of the in crowd and constantly picked on by my peers. Not to mention the hurtful things that were said to me in my teen years by someone I was supposed to trust and look up to did not help. I think that I now know where to turn to when I have emotions so strong that they make me want to do something stupid. I know that I have to turn to my inner self for the strength I know that I have. Turning all of these negative feelings into a driving force to accomplish my goals that I have set forth for myself. Last night I had an amazing conversation with my mother. One that brought tears and soothed away some of my childhood pain that I never let go of. Things were said by my parents when I was growing up that were hurtful to an adolescent teen. Bringing these things to my mothers attention was probably one of the best things that I could have done. It brought everything out and of course I never expected my mother to remember the things that she said for they were not said to be hurtful or mean, but rather in her way to help in her own way. I have realized that I have so much anger and hurt inside of me from growing up that it is now just coming to the surface. Hearing my mother say that she is sorry for those things that she said was awesome. Now I can continue down this road with a little clearer mind set. I am determined to never let my passed get in the way of my future as hard as this will be I know that it can be done.
I have to tackle each thing one by one head on. I never knew that this much realization would come from counting calories and to hear my parents say that they are proud of me has made this that much better. I know I am rambling, and I hope this makes sense as you read it. It's like my brain is in overdrive and thinking faster than I can actually type.
I have gotten myself on a very good eating routine which has been awesome. I am still falling into the late night eating habit because that is what I have been used to for so long with my work schedule but at least I am running for something light and good rather than something bad. Still I need to get away from this habit. Something to work on.
Last Sunday I bought a new pair of jeans in size 22. I can get them on and zipper them up, but I have major 'Muffin top' going on and I don't like that at all. Actually I am just not 'White Trash' so that style does not work for me. Anyway.......it is my inspiration pants. At the same time I purchased a size 24 that is a little better fitting, but I think that they will be to big before I know it. I have not worn them yet and I hope that I don't have to. I really just want to return them and get my money back for them. Both pairs are still in the bag in my car.
I am sending La Rae on a mission. He has been supportive of my 'project' and has not yet complained about eating the god stuff. So I decided to see how dedicated he was to my journey. This morning I told him that he had to go shopping for me by himself. I want him to pick out an outfit that he likes and would want to see me wear, but the catch is that he has to buy it in a size 16! OMG fitting into a 16 is like a dream for me right now, but one that I know I can obtain. Anyway he was excited about the idea and is going to go shopping for something he likes. I am excited for that because I know that even though this journey is my journey and I am doing it primarily for myself, part of me is also doing this for him. For his love, affection, encouragement and for our sex life. (not that our sex life is bad) I want him to be proud of me in every way possible! So yes this is partially for him too.

Anyway.......Here I am rambling about all of this. I have a lot to be thankful for and a whole road ahead of me still. I am so ready to tackle this....one week at a time!
Tags: health post
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